Gary the Best Ever
I can’t with this sign because

saltandpuff:

image

BACK FOOT OPEN

RUB RUB 7 DAYS

joshpeck:

this isn’t the dog park

joshpeck:

this isn’t the dog park

nazmatik:

"hold up let me put this fucking lime in that ATM real quick"

nazmatik:

"hold up let me put this fucking lime in that ATM real quick"

benjiecon:

you have my attention

benjiecon:

you have my attention

lnalloweentown:

pretty sure tumblr staff in on drugs 

image

fly away, fairy friend

tastefullyoffensive:

[explosm]

shinymaplesquid:

shinymaplesquid:

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

UPDATE:
I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

image

assvvipe:

velvvetreceipts:

thekatediary:

tiny little turn ons:

   - people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk

   - catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made

   - people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go

   - somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking

jesus CHRIST

Jesus is not a turn-on he is the way the truth and the light go 2 church and reflect on your nasty ass sins

extrovhert:

i’m not smoking pot, i’m smoking hot.

Girl: "Am I pretty?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "Do you want to be with me forever?"
Boy: "No."
Girl: "Would you be upset if I walked away?"
Boy: "No."
Girl : "Would you cry if I died?"
Boy: "No."
She had heard enough and was hurt so she walked away with tears rolling down her face.
The boy grabbed her arm, and said, "Also, I fucked your best friend."